75 Hard: A Review

Thanks to Instagram, 75 Hard is pretty well known in the fitness world. But contrary to popular belief, it's NOT a fitness program. It's not a weight loss or diet program. It's a test of discipline, and that involves showing up and following a strict set of rules for 75 days. Do people get fit and lose weight on this program? Typically, yes. But those are just added bonuses of the other changes you are making, of showing up and following the rules.

In case you aren't super familiar with the rules, here they are:

I honestly never thought I would do the program. It seemed unsustainable and way too difficult. I knew how to get healthy and fit without working out twice a day and abstaining from alcohol and following a strict diet to a T. I've done it for years. Why make it harder on myself?

The problem was that I WASN'T doing those things. I had lost my discipline. I wasn't getting healthy and fit, I wasn't working out consistently, I wasn't abstaining from alcohol, even in the slightest. In fact, in those weeks before starting 75 Hard, I was binging my favorite comfort foods like a crazy person and drinking several bottles of wine a week. Some days, I only drank coffee and alcohol. 

So, I decided to look more into 75 Hard and see what exactly it entailed. That's when I realized it wasn't what I thought it was. For one, walks and runs count as a workout. I thought people were doing two 45 minute strength workouts every day for 75 days, and THAT is not sustainable. For another, I thought the "diet" had to be extreme. But it can be what you want it to be. Macros, Keto, Paleo, whatever. I like macros and have been successful with tracking since 2020, so that was doable for me.

The final piece that I had to wrap my mind around was the alcohol piece. 75 days is a long time. That meant no wine on Pizza Fridays for 10 weeks. No happy hour with friends and coworkers. Minimal or no restaurant visits due to that temptation to break the diet or alcohol rule. But I ultimately decided that I needed to at least try.

I'll break down each rule and how I managed each, my thoughts on it, what I will maintain vs what I won't now that the program is done, and if/how I would do it differently.

TWO 45 MINUTE WORKOUTS - ONE MUST BE OUTSIDE:

Once I realized that these could be whatever I wanted them to be, I made the choice to do 3-4 strength workouts a week using the program I wrote a couple months back. The other 45 minute workouts of the week would be walks and runs. Totally doable.

Most weeks, I did 3 strength workouts instead of 4, mainly due to being too sore to run, which was a priority for me. A typical week was a leg day, an upper body day, and a full body. Some days it was 2 upper body/ab days to spare my legs for my long runs. Many of my walks were at 4:45am with Levi. I grew to love these. I love to be outside and this program forced me out the door every day. I walked in ice, rain, humidity, and wind sometimes, but most of them were really nice as long as I dressed for the weather. Levi definitely got his share of exercise! 

In total:

Walks: 214.3 miles

Runs: 100.5 miles

Steps: 1,101,852

45 minutes doesn't sound like a long time, but let me tell you, some of those walks lasted foreverrrrr. They felt never-ending. I'd think I was walking for 30 minutes and I'd look at my watch and realize it had been 15. The closer I got to day 75, the longer they felt.

No regrets about how I handled this rule. I chose something sustainable for me. I was tired and didn't always want to workout or walk, but I still had something in the tank. 

Post 75 Hard plans:

* 3 Full Body workouts a week

* 2 short runs and 1 long run a week

* Continue with outdoor walks. Maybe not always 45 minutes, but definitely almost daily.

Follow a Diet:

This rule can be whatever diet you want, but it needed to be fairly clean, healthy, and no "cheats". I personally hate the word "cheat" when it comes to food, because you can eat whatever you want in moderation and still be healthy. Since I was already a pro with macros, I chose this route. I could eat what I wanted (e.g. no cutting of entire food groups), and since I had done it before, I could handle it.

I used Avatar because it's an awesome, accurate app. They set my macros for 1700. I wasn't mad about it at first. But when you're walking quite literally ONE MILLION steps and moving your body a minimum of 90 minutes every.single.day, 1700 starts to wear on you. By day 30, I was mildly annoyed. But you're not supposed to change your diet once you start the program. It defeats the purpose of sticking to something. So I stuck it out.

Don't get me wrong, I ate well. I just wanted MORE. Here's an example of a typical day of eating:

Breakfast: mini bagel, 1/2 an avocado, ham or chicken sausage, strawberries, coffee

Snack 1: protein pudding + a banana

Lunch: a bowl with sweet potatoes, chicken, goat cheese, dried cranberries, and strawberries

Snack 2: Built bar

Dinner: Burger and roasted potatoes

Dessert: Protein microwave cake with nut butter

I "cheated" ZERO times. Not one morsel outside of what I tracked. It was tough but I was determined. I'm already a natural rule follower, so I didn't want to half-ass it just because nobody would know. The key was eating things I liked and spreading it out so I rarely got too hungry.

I saw physical changes around day 19. I hit my lowest weight in 4 years on day 57, and I was extra EXTRA annoyed by the lack of food between days 45-55. I lost a total of 12 lbs. This was very unexpected. Not only did I not think I had 12 lbs to LOSE, but I haven't seen my current weight in a long time and I was ok with that. In fact, I've been more fit than I am now, yet 7 lbs heavier. The scale definitely doesn't tell the full story. 

I missed going out to dinner, going to happy hour, and grabbing random snacks when I wanted them. I skipped cookies and queso at work, ordered the healthiest thing on the menu at a work luncheon, and didn't try little snacks that Isaac would bring home from work. 

But on a positive note, I no longer turned to binge eating for comfort. My reflux was almost non-existent, I ate more slowly to savor the food, and I learned that I do in fact have self control when I choose to.

Post 75 Hard plan: Take a break from tracking my food and weighing myself. Eat mindfully and mostly healthy. After 75 days of strictness, I'm sick of weighing out my strawberries. I just wanna eat.

No Alcohol or Cheat Meals

As I said before, the alcohol rule was the one rule that I felt would be unsustainable for me. I know that sounds terrible, but I really do enjoy having a beverage. I love wine with my pizza/pasta, I love happy hour with friends, and I love beer on the lake and at baseball games. My alcohol consumption had gotten a little out of control over the last couple years, so I knew I needed to reign it in a little. I worried that I wouldn't make it 2 weeks before I failed. But I surprised myself.

Within a few weeks, I barely thought about alcohol. I didn't crave it like I expected, and I only really thought about it if I saw it in public or on social media. I avoided restaurants to eliminate that desire. Don't get me wrong, I have no plans to be sober forever. I will return to drinking alcohol now that the program is complete. But I taught myself self-control, alternate options to enjoy, and gave my liver a break. No regrets and I'm very proud of making it 75 days.

Post 75 Hard plan: Drink socially and in moderation, not several nights a week.

Also as I mentioned before, I hate the term "cheat meal". It's food. Just eat it. So my post 75 Hard plan with that rule is to just eat. Nothing is a "cheat" anymore.

Drink 1 gallon of water a day:

I suck at drinking water. I honestly rarely think about it. I don't really get thirsty during the day, so my days usually just consisted of morning coffee, an occasional sip of water here and there, and some wine at night. I knew a GALLON would be tough.

This was a learning curve. I realized very quickly that I needed to drink it gradually throughout the day, and earlier in the day. If I got behind, not only would I have to chug it and feel bloated, but then I would pee 6 times at night. I never really learned my lesson throughout the 75 days. I woke up a LOT to pee at night. A LOT. And I may have peed my pants twice after drinking a ton and then going on a 2 mile walk far from home.

Post 75 Hard plan: Aim for at least 64 ounces but try to get more if possible. Sleep more at night. Don't pee my pants.

Read 10 pages of Non-fiction (no audiobooks):

You wouldn't think this would be hard, especially since I love to read. But I do NOT love to read non-fiction. Give me a novel all day long, but non-fiction? Laaaaame. I never really grew to LOVE this rule, but I did read some semi-enjoyable books:

Atomic Habits by James Clear - A mix of boring and interesting. Helpful information but I wouldn't say I loved it. Kinda like reading a textbook.

Single on Purpose by John Kim - Loved it. For someone who has been "single on purpose" for 4 years, this book spoke to me, plus the author is funny.

Anxious in Love by Carolyn Daitch and Lissah Lorberbaum - Meh. Did not like this one at all. I'm an anxious person, especially in relationships, but this book was pretty dumb. The suggestions and exercises were ridiculous. I didn't finish it.

Run to the Finish by Amanda Brooks - Loved every page of this. I have followed Amanda on Instagram for years. This book is informative, funny, and just a great book for a middle-of-the-pack runner like myself. Highly recommended.

Take a progress picture:

This was the easiest rule to follow. Did I love seeing myself in the mirror in my underwear and morning face every single morning? Nope. But I took the picture first thing in the morning before I did anything else so I would never forget. It was slightly helpful for seeing small physical changes to give that extra motivation boost. Sometimes I hardly noticed ANY progress. But when I compare the picture from day 1 to day 75, it's huge. Plus, I'm a big fan of progress pictures. It says more than a scale ever could. I personally like different mirrors and lighting. 

Common questions I received throughout my journey:

1. What's been the hardest part? This varied by day, depending on how I felt. I'd say most often, it was the food piece. Some days it was that 2nd 45 minute workout when I just wanted to rest. Other days, it was choking down a gallon of water. It changes throughout the 75 days.

2. Would you do it again? Probably not. It was quite the journey and I am proud to have accomplished it, but it is restrictive and I'm getting to the point in my life where I don't want restriction. I want health and happiness and I know I can have that without restrictions and strict rules. 

3. What did you like most about it? I loved having an end goal. Knowing that I was doing something hard and becoming the disciplined person I used to be again, and watching the days tick away on the app. I also loved having the support of all of my Insta friends. I received many messages throughout the 75 days and I appreciate every one of them.

4. What did you hate the most? Probably the word "fail". Like, it's in the app if you make a mistake on one of your days - FAIL. Not a fan. 

Advice for those who are considering it:

1. Drink your water early and use a straw.

2. Do a sustainable diet. If you can go 75 days without bread, go for it. Hard pass for me.

3. Choose a workout routine you love.

4. Take your picture first thing in the morning before you get dressed.

5. Read your 10 pages in the morning instead of accidentally forgetting at night.

6. Do the program at a time when there are very few distractions and difficulties. I did mine during a time when I had several breaks from work, no major holidays/meals (except Easter), and only two small road trips where I planned ahead with my food and walks.

7. Ask yourself why. Why do you want to do it? What's your purpose? You can absolutely do it for aesthetic reasons, but if that's the only reason you're doing it, you can achieve that without all these rules. Do it for you.

8. Plan ahead. Know what you're eating every day, pack your food, check the weather for your outdoor workout the day before, and know when you are going to get both in.

I feel proud of myself for finishing the program and I can cross that off my list of hard things I have set my mind to and gotten through with some perseverance. I feel like I am finally back on track after a year of spiraling both physically and mentally. 2023 is already feeling so much more positive and happy and healthy. 

Dues paid! ✔

What I Learned From a 30-Day Shred

Over the last month, I have participated in a 30-day shred program that I came across on Instagram. I liked the recipes that the trainer had posted, and her before/after pictures of the program were impressive. So I decided to drop the $99 and start 2021 off with a challenge. 

This particular trainer is focused on macros for nutrition, which was right up my alley since I have done macros since July. The workout program is 5 days a week, which was where the challenge came in for me. I typically work out 3 days a week on a good week, plus running. So I knew it would step it up a little for me.

You start by filling out a questionnaire where you tell her your activity level, typical calories, weight, goals, etc.  She is supposed to use this questionnaire to set your macros for the program. A few days before the program started, I received an email with my set macros and I nearly cried. It was as though she had not even read the questionnaire because she set my macros at 1630. To some, that might seem like a good amount of calories. But you can eat way more than you think you can. 

People, particularly women, get the number '1200' in their heads when it comes to "healthy" calories and what they need to lose weight. But throughout my time doing macros, I have learned that if you are fairly active, you can eat way closer to 1800 - 2000 rather than 1200. Maybe even more, especially if you are doing cardio, which I do a LOT of with running, which I told her. But since I had paid $99 for the program, I decided to give it a shot. I am a rule follower and if I sign up for something, I tend to follow it to a tee.

Let me tell you, it only took about 5 days for me to start to lose my mind on those macros. It was just way too low for me. I had spent the last 2 months prior to the program eating close to 2100 calories and gradually losing a little bit. So going from 2100 calories and losing (which means even that was lower than my maintenance), to 1630 calories was a significant drop. I felt it physically and mentally.  My mood was shit. 

I stuck to the macros for the first 7 days. Day 8, I had a little bit of a splurge fest but still lower than I was eating before. I did 4 more days on point, followed by 4 more days of splurging because my body was begging me for food. And repeat. A few days on macros, a few going over. 

By day 16, I decided I was done doing the whole restrict/splurge cycle. That's not a healthy lifestyle at all, and honestly one of the biggest issues with "dieting". From then forward, I would keep tracking, but just eat a normal amount of food, normal portions, when I was hungry. If I ended up hitting my low macros, then great. But if it was a day where I was extra hungry and I went over, oh well. I would then average everything at the end of the 30 days to see where I ended up landing.  Either way, I knew I was going to be in a deficit. 

Days 20-22 were spent camping. I tracked it, but definitely ate closer to 2100-2400 than 1630. Hard to partake in Hobo pies and wine and beer and cheese on low macros.  But on the flip side, when I got home, I still felt bloated so I wasn't as hungry and I ate much less. It evened out.

Final average:

Set macros: 1630
My final average of the 26 days (I called it quits early): 1868

See?  Still a deficit from my normal 2100. But I did what I needed to do to not gnaw my arm off or murder someone. And enjoyed a camping trip with family without restricting myself.  You will never see me turn down camping food, cheese, or a beverage. I'm not about that life. My parents have always had a giant Sam's Club sized block of sharp cheddar in their fridge at all times since I was little. This giant block of cheese came on that camping trip and I was there for it.

In defense of this lady and her program (which I have chosen not to mention by name on here out of respect since I'm kinda bashing her macros), it IS called a "SHRED".  So her low ass calories were for a purpose - results in a short amount of time. And I DID get results.  Not on the scale, but in measurements and in pictures. Nothing mind-blowing, but results nonetheless. 

Weight loss: 0

Waist: -1.5"

Bust: -0.5"

Thighs: -0.5" each

Hips: -0.5"

Funny, huh?  Lower calories than I was used to (even with adding some), lots of workouts, yet the scale didn't move? It moved more when I was doing 2000 calories. 

So many factors play into the scale. One of them being that your body actually requires food. And if you restrict TOO much, you can see the reverse effect. Google "cortisol and weight loss".  My body was stressed as hell.  😂

Here's the before and after:

Proof is in the pudding that a) the scale isn't everything, and b) you don't need extremely low calories on top of workouts and cardio to get some results. I'd rather eat a lot of food and workout in a way I enjoy, and gradually get sustainable results.

One positive of the last 30 days was the workout program. I actually did love this a lot.  That first week, 5 days of strength workouts was tough because my whole body hurt.  My butt muscles were like, what are we doing here?  Staaaaahp!

But by week 2, I got into a good rhythm and enjoyed the extra workouts.  I kept doing run sprints for my HIIT, and considered my long run the MISS (moderate intensity steady state). By week 4, I ended up cutting out the running altogether because it just made me more hungry, and I was tired. Runners need to EAT!

In summary, these are the things I learned or re-realized on this program:

A) I love to eat. Shocker. 

B) I really do love macros, but not in a restrictive way. They can truly transform your body if you do it correctly. But I'm not a good "dieter". Just feed me. 

C) 30 days is not enough time to see major gains. I already knew this but they really get you with those progress photos. You have to be realistic and not play the comparison game. 

D) I'd rather have a chubby butt than to eat 1600 calories for a month and risk losing my job with my attitude.

E) I love running. The significant decrease in running because of my decision to do this program has made me realize how much I actually love it and how much it makes my soul happy. Can't wait to get back to it, after my stupid hip stops getting in my way. 

Now that that's over, I've decided I'm going to spend the next month and change between now and the half marathon not tracking at all. I love macros and they really helped me to get back on track in 2020, but I've always been a pretty successful intuitive eater. So I'm going to give that a go again, and see how I do. I don't like focusing so much on my food. I just want to eat and enjoy it.  This program made me realize how much I want that lifestyle again. 

I may go back to macros later depending on how I do in Feb/March. It's enjoyable to me (well, before this program, it was) and I do have some fitness goals for 2021.  But will play it by ear.

If you have any questions about this shred, the workouts, macros, whatever, let me know!  Happy to share my thoughts on the topics.

The ABCs of ME - Part I

Since becoming more active on Instagram over the last few years, I have made a ton of friends and have felt more acceptance for all of my quirkiness than I ever have in "real life".  I've never really had a ton of friends - my circle has always been small - and I'm ok with that.  My true friends are the ones who know the nerdy freak I am on the inside and still like me.

One of my favorite things on Instagram that has really helped me learn about others - things you wouldn't know just by looking at their day-to-day posts - are the "About me" posts that people occasionally write.  I have read some of the most random, awesome, hilarious facts about the people I follow, and I love it!  We are human, after all.  We're not all running and workouts and filters and macros.  We're everyday people, and no matter if you want to admit it or not, we're all weirdos in some way and sometimes not what others expect.

I've posted an About Me or two over the years but decided I was overdue for another, in more detail apparently, because the amount of useless information about myself far exceeds the number of characters Instagram allows.  And honestly, if you manage to get through this entire long ass post (and the next one, because who wants to read 26 paragraphs in one sitting?), you the real MVP.  Because seriously, it's a lot of random BS.  

So here it is, the ABCs of Becca - Part I.  Enjoy!

A. AWKWARD.  Let's just go ahead and start with the main adjective for myself.  I grew up shy and awkward, and it bled into adulthood.  I laugh at inappropriate, uncomfortable times (i.e. if someone is ugly crying, and once even laughed during prayer at a funeral...my mom was pissed), I say stupid things in moments of nervousness, and eye contact is not my favorite.  I fake it to make it daily at my job.  People think I'm super outgoing. I am not.

B. BBG - the main reason I became active on Instagram.  I found out about BBG from hashtags on Insta back in 2017.  And the rest is history.  It has been my go-to workout program since then.  I'm old-school and have always used the PDFs. It is NO JOKE and you WILL get results if you put in the work.  As I sit here unable to cough or move or breathe because my abs are crying from week 2. These are a couple of my Before-After pics.

C. Cats.  If you've followed me for more than 2 seconds, you know I am a cat freak.  I have 3, one of which I am probably a little too obsessed with. I've had cats my entire life.  I spent the majority of my childhood in my closet with my cats dressed in baby pajamas so they couldn't run away. (See A above.)

D. Donuts - I freaking love donuts!  One of my favorite memories from childhood was weekend donuts from either Ryke's Bakery or Wesco in Muskegon, MI. Donuts bring me joy. I had a coworker/friend who always brought Friday donuts to work, and to this day, he is my favorite former coworker. 😂 I think he did it because he knew my grumpy ass was DONE with that place by Friday morning. I'm going to need my future husband to wake me up on a Saturday morning with a dozen donuts and a hot black coffee.  This is the way to my heart.  There, now you know.  I really am easy to please.

E. Enneagram 6 - THIS IS ME TO A T. Which Enneagram are you?

F. Food.  My Instagram handle literally has the word FOOD in it.  I have been obsessed with food since birth.  I've always been a big eater and I get overly excited about my next meal.  I eat ridiculously fast and have to force myself to eat at a normal pace when eating with others. When I was in 6th grade, I got so excited for lunch every day that my teacher told me since I kept running to the door at lunchtime, I would be the last one out of the room the next day. Well, I showed him.  I waited until he was standing in the hall and I booked it through the classroom...and immediately tripped over a desk leg, busted my face, and ended up covering my pink cat sweater in blood.  I needed several stitches to close the gash above my eye.  My sister has never let me forget this.  She has also never let me forget the time I barely chewed my burrito, and then threw it up all over my bedroom floor, practically still whole. I have a problem.

G. Gassy.  I have no shame.  I am the son my dad always wanted and the brother my sisters never did. I belched so loudly in my car today that I looked over to the car next to me to make sure they didn't hear me through 2 layers of closed windows and traffic noise. Not sorry.

H. Humor.  I pretty much think everything is funny.  Gross humor, sexual humor, bathroom humor, inappropriate humor. More than a handful of times a day, I read something hilarious and while laughing out loud, I say, "OMG, that's terrible!"  The more terrible, the harder I am probably laughing.  I am a child.  I am a huge fan of memes, and will send you funny memes based on what I think you can handle.  Once I determine that you won't be offended by me, the memes progress. I also think I'm hilarious, even though my friend, my sister, and my kid tell me otherwise. Whatevs... I'm a hoot.

I. Independent.  I'm extremely independent.  I've been single for a year and a half, I've gone to the movies by myself, I've taken a weekend trip alone, I'll eat in a restaurant alone.  Doesn't bother me!  I've been told I'm "too independent", but I don't think that's a thing.  I still PREFER to do those things with someone I enjoy being around, but I honestly don't mind being alone.  I think that's healthy.  But on the flip side of being independent, when I'm in a true relationship with someone I really like, I'm all in.  I'm not distant and avoidant of time spent with them whatsoever.  But I know who I am and what I like, and I have no qualms about a Friday night spent alone in my underwear, beer/wine in hand, Hallmark movie on the tv, food I don't have to share in my lap. Not sharing my food is my favorite.

J. July - my favorite month of the year. It's the middle of summer, all sunshine and no rain in Texas.  Pool days, the middle of baseball season, Thirsty Thursday at the ballpark lazy river when 2020 isn't ruining the minor league baseball season, the 4th of July (my favorite holiday), cookouts, paddleboarding on the lake, flip flops, tan lines.  I am truly happy in July.  💓

K. Kid.  My favorite person on the planet and a favorite amongst even the least kid-friendly adults.  He's easy-going, witty, smart, sarcastic, kind, and not a parent-teacher goes by where they don't tell me how funny he is.  The kid has no filter and some of the things that come out of his mouth shock me into silence before making me laugh out loud.  He roasts his mom like a champ. 

L. Lake.  I grew up on Lake Michigan and my happy place is on any body of water.  I love cruises, beaches bring me peace and calm, and I am fortunate enough to live 15 minutes from a large, clean lake that is perfect for paddleboarding. The hardest part about 2020 was cancelling our December cruise.  I NEEEEEED to be on a beach or by a pool right now.  Also why I am not a fan of winter.  I already miss the lake and can't wait for paddleboarding days with my Sweat girls and some beers.

 M. Motivated.  I've always been highly motivated to succeed in my life.  I always loved school and tried to get the best grades.  I went to college for 7 years instead of  4 so I could make more money in the long run.  I worked hard to buy homes on my own for my child.  Having a good, happy, comfortable life has always been my motivation.  This has carried over to fitness to some extent.  I'm not ALWAYS motivated on a day to day basis, and was very UNMOTIVATED in early 2020, but I always get it together eventually and remember the main goal - health and happiness. I can't be my best self and the best mom when I don't take care of me.

*****

Thank you for getting through the first half of the alphabet with me.  You now know way more about me than you ever thought you wanted to know...and there's more to come!  I love learning about people, especially the most random, weird facts.  The weirder, the better.  Tell me something interesting or super quirky about you!

How To Be A Runner

How to become a runner:

Lace up.
Run.

That's it. Congratulations, you're a runner.

But in all seriousness, it can be daunting for someone who has never done it. Scary even.

I was that person in 2009. I was 185 lbs and decided I wanted to go from being 100% sedentary to training for a half marathon. And I really gave it my best shot for all of 2 months. But my lack of education on the topic of running, combined with being grossly out of shape, led to severe tendinitis in my right leg and sidelined me for another 2 years. Because after my leg and ankle healed 6 months later, I had decided I "wasn't good at" running.

Fast forward to 2011. I promised my sister I would do a 5k in September 2011. I thought:

1) 3.1 is way better than 13.1 so how hard could it be? 

And

2) I have PLENTY of time to train.

Except I didn't. I continued to sit on my couch and eat Chinese food and entire boxes of Swiss Cake Rolls.

September rolled around, I was reminded of my promise, and I decided to just suck it up and do it, even if I walked the whole thing.

So I did it. And it sucked. And, shockingly, I was addicted to racing at that point. I was 3 months out from my 30th birthday so I decided that I would stick with it and do a 5k every single month while I was 30, until the end of 2012. My goals were a) improve my time by ANY amount each race, and b) don't ever be last.

That's when the learning curve began. Sure, I had survived that first 5k. But I wanted to do more than survive. I wanted to see my time improve and I wanted to do it injury free. I am the QUEEN of running injuries. I've had almost all of them at some point.

Here's what I learned during the process of becoming a runner:

1. Shoes are EVERYTHING. I wore too small shoes in the beginning, followed by shoes that were terrible for my feet. 

A. I always buy a size up. I wear 8.5 in regular shoes. I buy 9.5 for running.

B. Running stores can be your best friend. They will help you find a shoe for your gait. I personally need stability shoes vs neutral shoes, which sucks because neutral shoes are way cuter.

C. More than one pair is ideal. They last longer. Aim for 300-400 miles max before you retire them.

2. Don't over-train, especially in the beginning. Just because your Instagram runner friends can run 63 miles in a week, 5 times a week, etc, doesn't mean you have to. Start out with a couple miles a few days a week. Increase as your body tells you to. Just because an online training program you find starts you out at 3 miles doesn't mean that's right for you.

3. Pain vs soreness. This one is tough for someone new to working out or running. I've had to gradually learn the difference over the years. You can be sore and not be "injured". But you can also be in pain and need to rest up to prevent something much worse. You have to learn your body. You also will learn what shin splints feel like and when you can run through shin soreness vs stop and ice.

4. Cross training really helps. Building lean muscle and gaining strength helps with endurance. Don't have to do anything crazy, I didn't really "workout" other than running until 2017, but I did do some leg work like squats and lunges.

5. Hydrate and fuel properly. It will be extremely difficult (and dangerous) to run on a 1000-1200 calorie diet. Food is fuel, so eat up. When I first started running, I did South Beach, which is basically zero carb. But I ate a lot to sustain myself. I was able to lose weight while not passing out while running from lack of food.

6. You do not have to run your entire distance to be considered a runner. There are plenty of great programs out there (C25k, the Galloway method, etc) that encourage walk breaks in order to ease you into running. I STILL do a run/walk combo 9 years later. But I started out only running 30 seconds on, 30 seconds off. Now I do 2 miles straight through with more frequent walks after that. Progress, not perfection.

7. YOUR PACE DOES NOT DEFINE YOU AS A RUNNER. Read that again and say it louder for the people in the back. My first 5k was 42:40. My PR is 32:52. Sure, I shaved off 10 minutes, but will I ever run one in 25 minutes? Likely not. And I'm ok with that. Some people are naturally fast runners. Others work hard to become faster through special training or coaching. Either way, YOU ARE A RUNNER. BE PROUD.

*ALL ADVICE IS SIMPLY FROM MY EXPERIENCE OF BECOMING A RUNNER, NOT FROM A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL.*

Felt like I needed to add that part in. 😂

So in summary, if you've considered running and a 5k is something you've wanted to try, do it!! I promise you won't regret it. Do some research, ask questions, lace up, and get out there!

Hopefully 2021 will bring lots of races to choose from. And when you cross the finish line, no matter if it takes you 20 minutes or 50 minutes, you will be so proud of yourself. And if you're just starting out and need some support or someone to be at your finish line, I will gladly fly to where you are and take that first memorable finish line picture for you.  Just give me some notice. 😁

Single AF

 As you can see by the date of my last post, I'm pretty terrible at being consistent with this blog like I was several years ago. 

Last time I posted, I was less than a year into what ended up being a 2 year relationship. Great guy, but in the end, we wanted different things.

So here I am 2.5 years after that post and almost 1.5 years after the end of that relationship, happily single but occasionally wondering if I should make an effort to open myself up to another attempt at dating.

Since the end of that one, I've had a variety of first dates. Only one went beyond a first date.

I watched a romantic comedy the other night where a guy sued a dating app for not finding him love after 1,000 dates. He had a "Friends"-type name for every date (The One With All The Cats, The One Who Brought Her Parents, etc), and I thought I'd give you a rundown of some of my dates, maybe make you laugh at my expense, maybe make you appreciate your significant others little more. Because it's a shitshow, folks.

1. The One Who Took My Chick-fil-A Points (aka The Bro, aka Dumbface) - This is the only one in the last year and a half to go beyond a first date. He wasn't bright, he was loud, he acted like a frat boy, and he would ask me to pay for our food at Chick-fil-A, but USE HIS APP TO GET THE POINTS. Lasted 6 weeks. Never referred to him as my boyfriend. I couldn't see myself with him long term. Intelligence is important to me. So is food.  No nugs, no hugs.

2. The One With Daddy Issues - I liked this one. Super fun to chat with before we met. Good conversation before we met, lots of laughs. At dinner, he told me all about how his dad was a famous dude who left his mom and had other kids but didn't want him. Lots of personal details for a first date.  Talked the whole time, barely got a word in.  Then he walked me to my car, said "Thanks for coming out", and never called again. Thanks for the autobiography, I guess? 

3. The One With One Foot Out The Door - Good convo with this one beforehand, too. Super funny guy, chatty, seemed fun. He arrived at the restaurant and I could see it on his face that he wasn't happy, like when your food arrives at the table and they forgot to leave the onions off. He looked as though he was expecting Angelina Jolie and got Shrek. And my pics are recent and look like me, soooo... not sure where his disappointed look came from. But he didn't make eye contact, barely spoke, then never called again. Wasted my skinny jeans and good hair on that one. But I got free Texas Roadhouse rolls and a Dallas Blonde, so there's that.

4. The Delayed Ghoster - I had a great first date with this one. It lasted like 5 hours. He wanted to keep hanging out, so we did. Walked around, grabbed drinks and food at 3 different places, talked for hours. Heard from him the next day (that was a relief and a new feeling), and made plans for a 2nd date. Day before 2nd date, nothing. Ghosted. Just disappeared. Changed his mind and bolted.  My guess is he met someone else that he clicked with better. I've been there. Still unexpected. 

5. The One Who Had Diarrhea of the Mouth - This guy had no filter and it was bad. He admitted that he had zero experience with women and it showed. He said some really dirty things to me before we met. I told him I didn't want to go out with him anymore. He sincerely apologized, so I gave it another shot. Had a great date and I was glad I had gone after all. Then 2 days later, he took his grumpiness out on me by snapping at me and being rude and sarcastic with me while trying to plan our 2nd date. Buddy, it's too soon to show your ass. Show your crazy a few months in like the rest of us.

That was the last one in early July, although it feels like it was 6 months ago because 2020 is never-ending. Dating apps have been paused since. Been interested in someone since, but just seems too complicated. And I don't have the energy or brain power for complicated right now.

If this post has made you feel better about your love life, my work is complete.  If you need an extra push, here's a post from 2013.  Hopefully I'm not writing another in 7 years.  Time will tell!

The Process

Over the years, marriage has occasionally crossed my mind.  With each passing birthday, I've wondered if it would be the year that I found someone to spend my life with.  Like a ticking clock.  But my thoughts and feelings on the subject have changed over the years.  At 30, I sat in my front room and drank wine straight from the bottle and thought for sure I was going to be the lonely old cat lady for the rest of my life.  At 32, I still wanted to eventually get married, but I wasn't in a huge hurry because at that point, I had already decided that Isaac was the only child I was going to birth.  He would've been 8 by the time I had another one at that point and that seemed like too much of an age difference to me.  The biological clock was no longer ticking for me.  I was perfectly happy with just one of my own and hopefully some future stepchildren.  I remember that 34 was the year that I cared a little bit more and was really bothered by the fact that 1) every last sibling and cousin and extended cousin of mine were either married, engaged, or in a long-term relationship well on their way to marriage, and 2) that my parents may not be there if I ever DID get married.  Both of my sisters had had my grandparents and parents at their weddings.  As of age 30, I no longer had any living grandparents and at this rate, my parents may be 95 or dead before I walked down the aisle.  This is an actual glimpse into the future:

But since turning 36, my mindset has completely shifted.  I've actually done a lot of self-reflection on the topic over the last couple months.  Not really sure what exactly brought it on.  Maybe the fact that I am officially on the downhill slide to 40.  Maybe because I am in a genuinely happy relationship again for the first time in a long time and honestly didn't know if I ever would be again.  And then one day several weeks ago, my coworker got engaged.  And it just kind of hit me...  I could potentially never get married.  Not because I don't want to, but because it suddenly seemed like this super foreign concept to me.  When she announced it, I felt so far removed from the topic that I didn't even really know how to respond.  I obviously managed to respond in the most socially acceptable way possible, which, of course, was excitement and congratulatory words of support.  And I was genuinely happy for her.  She had patiently waited long enough for that damn ring.  But the whole situation got the hamster wheel turning, and as a result of being the over-thinker that I am and have always been, this blog post was born.

How do people even get to the point of marriage?  I'm not talking about Vegas elopements with someone you met last night.  Or marriages that come out of feelings of obligation (arranged marriages, pressure due to an unplanned pregnancy, when an ultimatum has to be given because she's waited 7 years for a ring and her uterus isn't getting any younger so come on already WTF, etc.)  But the ones where you actually go through the long process of dating and mutually falling in love and realizing you want to spend your life and money and space and snacks with them, like FOREVER.  I have obviously seen marriage all around me my entire life.  My parents have been married for 40 years.  I have friends who have been married 5, 10, 20 years.  Sometimes several times.  So I know it can happen.  So my confusion isn't with the end game of marriage.  I'm not anti-marriage by any means.  I completely appreciate the marriage part.  And I definitely understand the meeting aspect.  I've been on more first dates than I care to admit and many have stopped there.  What baffles me is the in-between.  Point A to Point B.  And everyone's A-B is different.  Some people get married after a few months like my parents did and stay married forever.  Others can date for 7 years before marriage and end up getting divorced.  I guess it's all personal preference with varying outcomes.  For me (and this has all changed drastically over the years), I need at least a couple years to figure out if I even want to share my food and bank account with you.  How do I know you aren't crazy or jealous or pick your nose in the car or eat the last Oreo without even asking me if I want it?!  It takes time to learn those important details and quirks about a person.  As Aziz Ansari once said, "I see people my age getting married to people they've known for like a year and a half.  A year and a half?  Is that enough time to get to know someone to know you want to spend the REST of your life with them?  I've had sweaters for a year and a half and I was like, 'What the f*ck was I doing with this sweater?'"

Despite the length of your A-B process, it's hard enough to get through the BEGINNING phase of dating.  I have heard people say that "dating is so fun!" And I'm like....

People that are married or in long-term relationships say they miss the initial dating phase.  But are they remembering those first few months?  The questions and the wondering and the overthinking.  Because I know I'm not the only one with these experiences.  There are memes out there that support the fact that I'm not the only one who struggles with those early dating worries.  Like this one:

The person who made this is my soulmate.  It was probably a woman, she probably has a little bit of anxiety, and it sounds like she has had some dating experiences similar to mine based solely on this picture.  And she's totes been ghosted several times.  If you don't know what that means, you come from a dating era I like to call "privileged dating".  Good for you. 

Someone also once told me that specifically online dating is fun.  Are you freaking kidding me?  Then I later found out that she just swiped for her friend on the dating app, she didn't actually have to do the swiping for her own dating life.  Well yeah, it's awesome fun when YOU aren't trying to find an undamaged needle in a haystack full of horse crap and garbage that's on fire.  Because to me, that's the most brutal time in a relationship.  Internally, of course.  You aren't having blowout fights in those first few months (at least I hope not because if so, RUN.  Trust me.  Been there.  Didn't run.  Another life lesson learned by Becca.  So many life lessons...) 

The beginning stage of dating for me is like eating dairy.  It sounds like a great idea and you're craving it and you desperately want that Blue Bell Cookie Two Step and some mac-n-cheese because in theory, it's awesome and makes your heart happy.  Can't get enough of it.  But it's not without risk, and for me, early dating and dairy give me similar gastrointestinal discomfort.  Sure, it's great to go to dinner and cuddle and not fight and not have them fart under the blankets in the beginning.  But everything else about the beginning these days is so stressful.  If I could skip from date one to the moment you both admit your love for one another, that would save me so much time and stress.  But I'd also have way less life lessons to blog about. 

Another thing that baffles me is, how do some people and personality types find someone to marry and others don't?  Almost weekly, I meet someone who is married and I try to picture their married life and how they got to their Point B.  Weird, I know.  I'm a freak.  But it intrigues me because some of these people are so...whatever they happen to be...annoying, loud, confident, funny, negative, bipolar...that I can't help but wonder about their spouse.  What made them say, "Yep, this is the one I want to spend every single day with."  I know everyone has their own cup of tea and what is my cup of tea may not be someone else's cup of tea.  But then there are others I come across who are NOT married and I wonder why.  What's their story?  Where is their person?  Why is this smart, funny person single while this crazy ass narcissist over here is attached?  Right?!

So then I wonder, is it something I want because that's what's "supposed to happen", the course of things because society says so?  Because it seems that most of my engagements and "close calls" have been because it was just the "next step", not because they couldn't imagine life without me and vice versa.  Here's a timeline of my significant failed relationships:

* My high school sweetheart was my first fiancé, but we were practically kids.  We just thought that loving each other since 6th grade meant that we were meant to be forever.  It was the next step.  Sure, those stories happen sometimes, but it's extremely rare.  Rarer than me turning down a cupcake rare.  I pretty much spent my entire childhood thinking that life was set up for you on a schedule - married at 20, done having 3-4 kids before 30, grandparents at 50, live happily ever after and die at 80.  Not even sure where or when this timeline developed in my head, but I truly believed it to be true until reality slapped me in the face in my early 20's.  But I had been on that path with him and he was the obvious next step.  But he wasn't and I wasn't and we weren't.  And we're both thankful to this day that we didn't take that plunge.

* Next up is the guy who was probably the most likely candidate, the one I had a child with who never wanted to get married but then married the next girl a month after I left.  Makes me chuckle now as I type this, but it was a sucker-punch to the gut 10 years ago.  We were never engaged, but it was a 5-year relationship, my longest.  So I had gone through this long process with him that was essentially supposed to lead to marriage, right? - fell in love, had a baby, stayed together for most of our 20's - but nothing.  Through 5 years, we never completed the process.  We fell in love in the first 3 months, hit our high at 6 months, then never really moved beyond that.

* Then there was the guy I dated for 4 months before we got engaged (fiancé #2).  We were still in that happy, can't-get-enough-of-each-other phase and thought getting married early on would be an awesome idea.  It can happen but man, that would've been disastrous.  He's one big reason why my A-B got extended significantly.

* Then lastly, there was the guy I genuinely thought I'd marry, but I actually dodged the biggest, most narcissistic bullet in the universe. 

So basically, I've thought on a few occasions that I was with the one I would marry.  Been engaged twice, long-term a couple other times.  And as I outlined above, I am thankful that those relationships didn't work out for various reasons.  They weren't the right ones.  Things have a way of working out for the best.  Had to throw that cliché quote in there because it's true.  But what was different about my A-B compared to other people's A-B's?  THAT is the million dollar question.  One that likely doesn't have a concrete answer. 

But all of that being said, I am actually incredibly happy with my life and relationship.  I can honestly say I'm the happiest almost 8 months in that I've ever been at this stage.  He's all kinds of great and I feel lucky to have found this needle in that haystack.  We aren't even remotely close to any engagement or marriage talk.  Nope.  But will it get to that point?  History says no.  But what's that other cliché quote?  Trust the process?  Yeah, that.  That's what I'm trying to do.  Although trust isn't my strongest quality.

There is a meme that says something along the lines of "I'll get married when a man makes me as happy as queso".  And as funny as that may be (and actually kinda true), I'll get married when I feel like I'm just as special and beautiful to them and adored by them as they are to me and by me BEYOND the honeymoon phase of dating.  And that takes time.  Mutuality is key.  Because why wake up at 50 and either look over at the empty space in your bed because you ended up in divorce or look over at your snoring spouse that you resent because you feel like you care more and do more than (s)he does?  I've seen that happen so often, so the silver lining of being my 36 year old unmarried self is that I've actually had a lot of extra time to learn from other people's marriage woes.  Sorry guys, but thanks I guess?

But I do think the world is changing and with that comes major changes in the way we handle relationships.  The dating world has changed drastically since my grandparents met organically, fell in love, and got married.  Heck, even since my sisters got married.  Online dating is the #1 way to meet people and despite the cheesy commercials that make you want to vomit in your mouth while you sit at home eating ice cream in your underwear on a Friday night, it's not all fun and games.  So if you are currently single and looking, or in the early awkward phase of dating, or going through a divorce or yet another dating breakup in your 30's or 40's, just know that you aren't alone.  And you're not "too old" to start over or get married.  And you're not "damaged".  I mean, you could be but everyone is in some way.  And even though your 6 year old self watched Mannequin in 1987 and developed unrealistic expectations of love and marriage and timelines and A-B processes, there's still time.  Marriage is not required in order to be "normal" or happy.  You create your own happiness with who you choose to have in your circle and who you choose to love.

Congratulations, it's a burger!

Anyone who has known me longer than 5 minutes knows that I have been a gassy individual since birth.  I've never been particularly shy about my ability to burp louder than most men or clear a room.  Sure, I keep these things under wraps with various people, such as new boyfriends, friends who aren't as disgusting as I am, my boss (most days)...  But being a walking fart bubble is just who I am.  Sorry not sorry.  I've always teased people like my mom and middle sister that if they didn't start letting out their gas, they were going to explode one day.

In the last year, what started in 1981 as just a normal part of my day, turned into a complete nuisance when it started affecting my ability to enjoy my food.  Nothing gets in the way of my food.  And it wasn't so much the flatulence and belching that bothered me.  I was actually still quite amused by that.  It was the other symptoms that made me realize that something was wrong with me.

It started with my body's hatred for sodium almost 2 years ago.  If I ate a few salty meals in too short of a time span, my feet swelled up like my sister's when she was 8 months pregnant with twins.  Then came the acid reflux that only occurred at night.  If I even so much as looked at a piece of food or glass of alcohol within 3 hours before bed, I woke up a few hours later drenched in sweat, knives in my stomach, burning chest, and for several days after the incident, I would have the feeling of a lump in my throat (we Speech Pathologists call this "globus").  This was an easy fix...don't eat before bed.  But then the queasiness kicked in.  Anytime I ate, I felt slightly nauseous.  I was eating Alka Seltzer acid/gas chews like candy, going through a bottle every week or two.  I took Nexium but I wasn't consistent with it and it's one of those medications that you have to take every single day for it to be effective.  I was entirely too cheap for that so I mainly took it if I knew I was going to be going out for a beer or unhealthy meal.

The worst symptom, the one that bothered me the most, was the bloating.  After a meal of any size, I looked as though I was 6 months pregnant or had been holding in a fart for a decade.  At one point, I took a "before" picture after a meal at my sister's house.  My stomach was sticking out, literally hanging over my pants.  The next morning, a mere 10 hours later, I took an "after" picture of a perfectly flat, semi-toned stomach (this was over the summer when I actually had stomach muscles, before a Caribbean vacation and holiday indulgence made them disappear.)  I talked to my college roommate about this because she had had similar symptoms and found out she was allergic/intolerant of a bunch of stuff.  That would explain a lot so I decided to look into this as a possible cause.

I showed my doctor these pictures side by side and her diagnosis was simple and what I had already suspected: I was allergic or intolerant of one or more things.  I could either get allergy testing and/or get a GI consult.  The allergy testing would've settled the allergy/intolerance question right away, but my insurance sucks and I didn't want to pay for both.  So I opted for the GI consult since the globus (feeling of a lump) was still present and I had this paranoid feeling that I had throat cancer or something.  Wrong choice.  She told me what I already knew (globus...duh, I can feel it) and recommended an endoscopy before she would diagnose me with any stomach or esophageal ailments. But like I said, terrible insurance with high deductibles.  Seeing as how I'm in the process of saving money for a major life event, dropping a couple grand on an exploratory procedure wasn't an option.  I asked her to do the food allergy testing but she said I'd need to go to the allergist for that.  Should've gone there first...  Her "in the meantime" solution was to troubleshoot and figure it out on my own: take 2 Nexium every single day (approximately $40/month versus $2000 surgery, drink a glass of prune juice with Benefiber 3 times per day, and cut out gluten/dairy/wheat/grain/sugar, so basically almost everything in life that makes me happy.  Once the bloating and reflux improved, I could add things back in to test for reactions.  At this point, I had gained 10 lbs since August.  I knew there was no way I had consumed an extra 35,000 calories in 4 months, so I knew it had to be the bloating and I was willing to try just about anything to feel right again.  Not because I felt like I needed to lose weight, but because I felt like I wasn't healthy.

Well, from the get-go, the Benefiber/prune juice cocktail wasn't going to happen 3 times per day.  I had to work, I drive over 2 hours a day, I workout... I wasn't about to lose control of my intestines on the treadmill or in my car.  And there are only certain levels of smells I can get away with blaming on the dirty linen cart - or the residents - at work.  So I tried it twice a day for 2 days...and nothing.  Except a belly that looked 6 months pregnant and a fart bubble the size of a melon that refused to pop.  After googling this strange reaction to a concoction that should've cleared my body of everything I'd eaten in the last year, I discovered that some people can't tolerate a lot of fiber at once.  It recommended that instead of a fiber supplement, I simply increase my fiber in my food choices by 1/2 cup.  Done.

Thanks to Pinterest, I learned that this "elimination" diet that the GI doctor suggested was basically Paleo, which made it a lot easier to plan my meals.  I could have meat, vegetables (except potatoes, but sweet potatoes are allowed, THANK GOD!), fruit, eggs, nuts (but not peanuts because they're legumes), almond milk, coconut milk...yep, that's about it.  No bread, milk, cheese, cereal, pasta, BEER!, WINE!, cookies, etc.  Sounds awful, right?  And the first couple days were.  Breakfast options are limited to protein shakes or eggs and bacon.  I'm not a huge egg fan nor do I have time in the morning to make bacon.  So the first health shake of the week tasted like death.  I've perfected it since then but the first day was bad.  I. Was. Starving.  Even though I ate all day long (ask my coworkers - "Man, you always have food in your mouth!"), my body was craving my oatmeal bar and the leftover Halloween candy in a giant bowl above my desk.  But I quickly got into the Paleo groove and I learned to crave fruit and pistachios and sweet potatoes and roasted broccoli.  It took a few days but I got the hang of it.

I had my first cheat meal on day 4.  I decided to test out the wheat/gluten allergy by having a couple beers on a really bad date.  And to emphasize how bad, you should know that my cheat meal also consisted of a Whataburger cheeseburger that I picked up on my way home from said date because...He. Didn't. Order. Food.  Who doesn't order food at a restaurant on a date?  Not my future husband, that's for sure.  Lame sauce.  Pass!  So anyway, the beer and cheeseburger.  No reaction at all.  No significant bloating or acid reflux that night.  The cheese was minimal, not enough to really test for a dairy allergy, but it was freaking delicious.  Even though I passed the beer/wheat/gluten test, I wasn't ready to add those things back in completely.  I wanted to do this elimination diet through December 16, my 35th birthday, before I took a break for the holidays.  A good 3 weeks felt like enough time to figure things out.  So I forged on.

My next semi-cheat meal was on day 6.  I made a spaghetti squash marinara bake and added some mozzarella.  Within 20 minutes of eating, I was bloated and crazy gassy.  So was it the cheese or marinara?  My gut (literally...ha!) says it was the cheese.  I had a dairy intolerance as a kid that I outgrew so maybe it came back?  But like the beer, I wasn't ready to say for certain after one trial that I did or didn't have an intolerance/allergy. By the 10th day, I had already lost 8 lbs and 4 inches off my stomach.  8 lbs in a week and a half is insane but I know I did it in a completely healthy way and simply cut out foods that were holding onto my insides, not to mention the excess water that my cankles were holding hostage thanks to sodium.  These 10 days also included 5 workouts, so that helped the process.  Like I said before, my goal wasn't weight loss, but monitoring my weight helps me to be more aware of food intolerances.  Watching my weight was what made me aware that I had a problem with salt.  I can gain 5 lbs in a weekend from sodium alone. After a cheat WEEKEND where I had 3 major cheat meals and beer, I gained 6 of the 8 lbs back.  I lost all 6 within a few days but still, it shows how much my 35 year old body doesn't like the good stuff anymore.  In those first 3 weeks that I followed that diet, I really only 100% figured out that lettuce isn't my friend.  I highly suspect that dairy and wheat are also a problem, but those symptoms have been inconsistent.

So in summary, Paleo is definitely the way to go if you a) want to lose weight quickly in a healthy way, b) want to get rid of bloating, or c) have food intolerances that you can't quite figure out.  I still plan on getting food allergy testing done and resuming this diet now that the holidays are over.  After a few weeks of Christmas cookies, potlucks, and dinners out, I feel like crap and look like I'm with child again.  I also still plan to get that endoscopy done since the globus never completely went away, even with the diet changes and Nexium.  Both things will have to wait a few more months, but it's a relief to know that I found a fairly simple way to control my symptoms for the time being.

Here is a site that gives a food list if you're interested.  Or just search it on Pinterest and you'll find a ton of ideas.  Here's to a healthy, happy, less gassy 2017.

Paleo Diet