Lazy Girl's Guide to Running

"How often in life we complete a task that was beyond the capability of the person we were when we started it." ~Robert Brault

It's hard to believe that in less than 2 weeks, I will be completing my 17th race and my first 10k.  It doesn't seem like that long ago that I was wishing I could run but doubting my ability to make it happen. I chose the title because, even though I have made a ton of progress in the last year and a half, I'm still very much a lazy runner.  I don't "love" to run and most days I would prefer to sit on my couch and watch baseball in my underwear and eat a cupcake rather than go for a run or to the gym. You don't have to be Miss Athlete to be a runner, you just have to make the choice to do it even when your couch is calling your name.  I decided to compile this list as a way to help other people who are thinking about running or have already started and may be struggling. 

1. Get started

Getting started is the hardest part of anything, especially where any kind of exercise is involved. How many times have you set a weight or fitness goal as a New Year's resolution only to give up by February 1? I've tried to start running several times in my life. In high school, I ran around the tennis courts before practice and hated every moment of it. I only played tennis for the cute skirt and to avoid gym class anyway, not because I was athletic. In college, I would get motivated very briefly and run around the track at my dorm, all the while thinking about the cookie I had thrown away the night before and desperately wanting to go retrieve it (I did, by the way...it was still soft and tasty. The 5 second rule doesn't apply to cookies). In 2009, I tried again to start running, this time with a running group, and ended up with tendinitis in my ankle. So I quit and ate my frustrations and developed quite the rear. In July 2011, I tried yet again and actually stuck with it for a month or so. My first 5k trek around my neighborhood took me a long 50:26. My shins hurt, my lungs were on fire and I felt every extra pound in my pants. After a month of dealing with shin pain and humid nighttime runs, I gave up yet again. It was only after my sister guilt-tripped me into registering for my first 5k that I finally decided to "get started" for the last time. That was in September of 2011, and 16 races later, I haven't looked back since. My 5k time has gone from that very slow 50:26 to my most recent personal best of 31:45. I never thought I would be this close to the 30:00 mark. My cousin, who is an awesome marathon runner, told me a long time ago, "I want to be there the first time you finish in under 30:00." At the time I just thought, "Not gonna happen...ever." But I'm already very close to that milestone. You just have to set your mind to it and do it. You have to push out every doubt you have in yourself and ignore the agony you feel after several (or two) minutes of running and remember that it'll eventually pass. And if you start to think, "I'll start again next week", just realize that when next week rolls around and you're struggling to make it around your neighborhood, you're going to be kicking yourself for not starting last week. So just do it.




Me in July 2011, except chubbier than these chicks.


2. Plan a fun race

I was kind of thrown into my first race via the guilt trip, but it changed my life. Setting a concrete goal such as a race (and paying the registration fee) will help motivate you to start and keep training. If I hadn't registered for my first race, I would've eventually given up again. But because I paid $25 and promised my sister (and probably announced it on Facebook), I felt like I HAD to complete it. Not that you should guilt trip yourself into running, that's not what I'm saying. Yes, my first race was a guilt trip race, but the 15 races after that were a way to pump myself up and get excited about running. I always made sure to choose really fun races (a glow-in-the-dark race, my hometown race, a Halloween race, etc) so that I looked forward to running it. Planning my outfit based on the race's theme was one of the most motivating things for me. See #3.

3. Shoes/outfit

SHOES ARE EVERYTHING! Especially if you're as injury/accident prone as I am. It took me several running injuries before I finally realized that bad shoes were my main issue. I mean, I had a lot of other issues in the beginning (an extra 30 lbs on my butt, horrible running form that resembled Phoebe Buffay from Friends, an inability to steady my breathing, just to name a few), but my poor quality running shoes really had the biggest impact on the misery I experienced those first several running attempts. I suggest going to a running store and getting fitted for running shoes. They'll do a gait analysis, tell you if you walk/run funny (I do) and tell you what shoe you should get and what size based on that information (usually 1/2 to 1 size larger than your regular shoe size - your feet swell when you run). Don't be cheap, especially if you're prone to shin splits or joint issues. Spending about $100 is normal for good running shoes. I'd rather spend $100 every year (yes, you need to replace them eventually because they wear down) than spend $40 and have them sit in my closet because I got injured and gave up again. Now, about your outfit... This may be a woman thing, but most likely it's just a Becca thing and doesn't matter to most other people. But I'm a weirdo who is much more motivated and energetic if I look as cute as I possibly can while running. My face is pretty hideous at the end of a run, so all I can really control is the outfit. That's one reason I choose fun, themed races because the costume/outfit I get to wear gets me excited. Who wouldn't be pumped up to wear a tutu or a Batman costume or knee-high neon socks during a run? But feeling good in your running outfit doesn't just apply to races. I have found that if I like what I'm wearing during a workout or training run, I have more energy. I may be the only person who suddenly gets a burst of energy mid-run because I remember that I'm wearing my hot pink sports bra and matching underwear. Whatever works!


See how excited my outfit made me?

4. Weight

Would you rather run while carrying 50 lbs worth of candy bars in your underwear or without? Weight matters where running is concerned, at least for me. I've seen heavier people run 5k's, sometimes way faster than me, but for me, I do much better and struggle less when I weigh less. When I first started running in 2011, I was 35 lbs heavier and really didn't "run". I walked with a hop and my butt bounced behind me with every hop. As I lost weight, my race times and overall endurance improved. Not to mention that races were much less swamp-assy when my thighs weren't rubbing together in my yoga pants the whole time.

5. Diet

Diet obviously contributes to weight, but it also affects how you feel when you run. Even if you're the type of person who can eat chicken enchiladas and a 6-pack of beer and not gain a pound, it'll still have a negative affect on your run. Running bounces and shakes and jolts your body around. Your stomach is bouncing around in there and I'm sure your intestines are being flopped around, too, and you know what those contain. I have found that I feel best when I stick to meat, nuts, fruit and vegetables (very low carb - you need some good carbs for energy but heavy, starchy carbs weigh you down and make you feel like you might fill your pants mid-run. Never a pleasant sensation). I try to follow this diet most of the time, but your diet is especially important the day before and day of a race. Feel free to pig out after a race - post-race meals are the BEST - but I wouldn't recommend eating a stack of pancakes or a plate of Mexican food within 24 hours before a race. Do what you want but you'll be wishing you had listened to me when you're trying to push down the queasiness and/or desperately looking for a bush during mile 2. Trust me, I've been that girl. Many times.

6. Music

Music is a huge motivator for me. I can't run without it. It energizes me when things get tough and puts me in a good mood when I just want to quit. My 5k playlist has changed a lot over the last year and a half. I used to think music was music. I figured if I liked the songs, they could be on my running playlist. Over time I realized that my song choices played a huge role in how well I did and how energized I was able to stay. I love slow country love songs and depressing breakup music, but that music wasn't conducive to a successful run. It made me sleepy, unmotivated and hungry for chocolate. And anything repetitive is really annoying when you're struggling to breathe and stay upright. There are songs I can sing and dance to in the car but if they suddenly start playing mid-race when I'm already angry at the world, it drives me insane. For example, Isaac put "Baby" by Justin Bieber on my playlist before my first Halloween 5k (by the way, this is an example of a repetitive song, not a song I dance to in my car...just to set that straight). It was a miserable, frigid, hilly race and I was in a tutu. The Biebs came on at the very end of the race when I was in the process of trying to stay ahead of a dad and son so I could avoid coming in last. At that moment, I had to make the choice to either slow down and turn the song off or ignore it and keep running. My fear of being last beat out my hatred for Justin Bieber and I suffered through the rest of the race with that song playing. When I crossed the finish line (not last), turning it off took precedence over yanking my shorts out of my crotch or wiping the snot off my face. After that race, I always make sure to triple check and update my playlist before each race or training run. I still have a huge variety of music (everything from Luke Bryan to Usher to Soilwork to Casting Crowns), but all of it is upbeat and motivating. Most of it is heavy metal and rock lately. I guess I like to be screamed at when I'm about to give up. :-)

7. Focal point

I'll be honest, I struggle more after the 2nd mile of races than I did during childbirth. When you're in labor, they tell you to choose an object or area in the room and use it as your focal point so you can take your mind off your agony and fight through the pain. The same applies to running. I choose a focal point every time I run, whether it be a training run or a race.  Sometimes I have several depending on where I am running. If I'm on the treadmill at the gym, I usually just focus on the street lamp outside and never take my eyes away from it. It takes my mind off any pain or exhaustion I may be feeling and keeps me from looking at my time and distance on the treadmill. When I run outside, I usually have several focal points that change as the scenery changes. If I'm running alone, I focus on a tree, landmark or person in the distance and tell myself that I WILL keep running and not walk until I reach that point. I do the same thing during races but mainly focus on people. Sometimes I'll watch someone's butt in front of me and enviously wonder how they manage to keep their shorts on the outside of their body. Other times I'll focus on someone ahead of me that I would be embarrassed to finish after, like a little kid or a baby in a stroller. I'll pick up speed until I pass them, think to myself, "That's right, baby. Move aside!" and then choose another person to be my new focal point. Having something to focus on helps the time to go by faster and helps you to get out of your head. Running really is (mostly) mental...see #8.

8. Mental vs physical

It took me over a year and 13 1/2 races to realize that running is more mental than physical. Back in those earlier running days, I was positive that my shin splints, fat butt and Buddha belly were 90% of my issues. It wasn't until I was in the middle of my November 2012 race that I realized my self-doubt and mind games caused most of my misery. I was in decent shape for this race, was at a reasonable weight, the weather was perfect, it was a night race and I hadn't eaten tacos that day, yet I was still struggling to survive after a panic attack hit when my running app on my phone stopped working. I had obsessively used that app as a security blanket during my races so that I could track how far I was from the finish line. When I realized the app wasn't working during that race, I freaked out and started thinking that there was no way I could finish running it, I was probably far from the finish line and I was going to finish in a terrible time. Just that mental war I was having with myself made me feel exhausted and like I was going to pass out. That's when it clicked that it really was all in my head (there was no way a running app on my phone could make or break a race), and I just had to suck it up, turn up my music and keep my eye on the prize. That race ended up being my fastest race to this day. I still use my running app religiously but I'm now able to tell the difference between a mental war vs a physical struggle. I'd say it's 80-20. You still have to build your endurance and get stronger physically, but the thing that prevents us from improving over time isn't the junk in our trunks, it's the negative junk in our heads.

9. Injury awareness

I am the running injury queen. You name it, I've had it: shin splints (more times than I can count), runner's knee, tendinitis, plantar fasciitis... The frequency of these injuries decreased significantly once I packed on leg muscle and got better running shoes, but they still come back on occasion. The key is knowing when you have an injury vs soreness and when you should rest vs fight through it. The best way to fight off injuries is to stretch before and after running and to ice your legs, even if they're not really sore. Stretching your calves and hamstrings is so very important. Those muscles are attached to everything - your shins, your knees, your heels. I had calf pain for a couple weeks one time and suddenly got plantar fasciitis (heel issue) that was directly related to my tight calves. If your soreness just feels like normal muscle pain from exercise, it's ok to run through it. That's how you build muscle. But if it's pain in a joint or sharp pain in your shins, rest for a few days or a week and ice it. Ice baths SUCK HARDCORE, but they allow you to ice everything all at once and it actually feels better when, you know, you can't feel anything below the waist. You just have to know your body and know when something isn't right. If you have a feeling it's an injury rather than soreness, err on the side of caution and don't run for a while. You'll make it worse and end up giving up and eating your sorrows. I've been there. And since I'm telling you to not run through injuries, I probably shouldn't tell you that I have my 2nd case of ankle tendinitis and not only am I still running, but I plan to complete my first 10k in a couple weeks. I'll suffer the consequences of my stubbornness for sure, much like I did after my December race when I ran with strep and bronchitis in 28* weather. I may not be able to walk afterwards, but the accomplishment alone will make it all worth it, as well as the copious amounts of burgers and beer that I plan to consume as my celebratory meal. But yeah, like I said before, don't run through running injuries...it's BAD. 

10. Cross training

I've always hated exercise. I didn't like the muscle soreness or the difficult time I had walking for the 2 days after a session of squats and lunges. But cross training will benefit you greatly when it comes to your running progress. Running requires the use of your whole body, not just your legs. Every muscle group is involved - abs, legs, even your arms. If one or more of these muscles are weak, it'll slow you down and make you feel tired a lot faster. I started incorporating cross training sessions into my gym visits about 3 months after I started running. As I built muscle, I got faster and less tired. Then for about 6 months, I got lazy and only ran. I noticed a difference right away. Without the cross training, I wasn't building the most important muscles that I needed to increase my speed, endurance or metabolism. Sure, I still had some nice calf and shin muscles, but my hamstrings and quads were weak, I still had a fat stomach and I had no upper body strength. So I started back up with these muscle groups on my non-run days several months ago and haven't stopped since. My quads and hamstrings are stronger and more muscular and I run faster as a result. Not to mention, these main muscle groups have helped me to become a champ at hovering over public toilet seats for several seconds. It's a win-win really.

I hope this list was helpful for anyone who is thinking about running or has recently started running. I subscribe to Runner's World magazine and have read hundreds of articles on "how to run" and none of them really spoke specifically to me. I felt like I was the minority, the one person who had so many issues becoming "A Runner" when it seemed so easy for others. So maybe you're just like I was and you'll read this, have extra hope and think, "Ahh ok, she struggled just like I am and has managed to pull through." Or better yet, you'll feel way better about yourself after reading about all of my problems and think, "Wow, my experience doesn't seem quite so bad anymore." Either way, I hope it gave you some encouragement and motivation to continue running. It's been a life changer for me.

Firefly Run, 2013 Edition

Firefly Run, Plano, TX - March 23, 2013

#16. It's crazy to think that I had already completed 15 races, 12 of which were all in 2012. I was ready to start 2013 off right and decided that the Firefly Run was the perfect race for my first of the year. This particular race is my favorite. The course is totally flat, it's a night race (which I LOVE) and the glow-in-the dark atmosphere makes me happy. My friend Priscilla and her boyfriend Sid decided to run it with me. I did it with my niece last year, but she's now in the Navy so I was bummed that she couldn't be there. We had a blast last year.

I had pre-race jitters like crazy before this race. I always have some anxiety before a race but usually I don't have much time to dwell on it since they're typically morning races. With this race, I had an entire 12 hours to worry about all of the crazy things that I worry about before a race. Was I ready? Had I trained enough? It had been 3 months since my last 5k so I was nervous. But I had been doing my 10k training since January so I was about as prepared as I was going to be. Shorts or pants? It was 55* but I wanted to wear glow-in-the-dark gear on my legs, so I went with shorts. What should I eat during the day? And more importantly, what had I eaten the day before that I might need to "expel"? Think I'm gross all you want (do you really expect anything less from me?) but this matters to runners, trust me. The LAST thing you want to happen to you during a race of 7,000 participants is to have crippling stomach pains and a blowout mid-race because you chose to eat tacos and beer the night before. And lastly, my most important concern (yes, even more important than filling my pants during mile 2) was that there would be a really good looking guy at the finish line this time. I recently started seeing someone and he planned to be at the race. As I've mentioned in previous blog posts, I'm not even remotely cute when I finish running. I'm sweaty, red, panting and look a little like I might stroke out. I haven't been with Hottie long enough to subject him to that image. My post-race look is a borderline deal breaker. So how was I going to cross the finish line still looking semi-cute, without my shorts lodged in my uterus? I finally had to accept that the only thing I had any control over was the shorts. I couldn't control my red face or sweaty boobs or my disheveled hair, but I could pre-plan the dislodging of the shorts prior to making the last turn before the finish line.

There were SO MANY people at this race. Thousands. There were 7,000 last year and I think there may have been more this year. Last year I had been worried about dodging so many people but had done pretty well. This year was even more nerve-wracking because of the increased number of little kids and baby strollers. Not to mention it would be DARK and the ground was wet from the earlier rain storm. I pushed my way towards the front and hoped that the parents with small children had been smart enough to stay towards the back. I knew that the combination of thousands of people, cold weather and crazy North TX winds would make this a semi-unpleasant race, so my playlist for that night consisted mainly of hard rock and heavy metal to get me through the tough moments. My goal was to beat last year's time of 36:08.

The first mile was spent dodging pint-sized runners who didn't know to stay to the right. When I'd find an open space, I'd sprint in order to make up for time I had lost while trying to get around people. Even after all these races, I have yet to learn to pace myself. I finished the first mile in 10:30 and the 2nd by 22:45. That gave me over 13 min to finish the last 1.1 mile. Problem was, the wind was killing my lungs and the blinking light bracelet I had strapped around my calf was digging into my muscle every time I flexed. I could've ripped it off but I didn't want to get trampled if I slowed down. So I sucked it up and kept going.

Hottie was supposed to text me when he arrived but my phone hadn't buzzed during the race. So I assumed he hadn't found a place to park and wasn't going to be at the finish line. But I wasn't about to risk the surprise of running towards him with my shorts several inches higher than they needed to be. So I slowed down slightly before the last turn and pulled them back down over my butt cheeks where they belonged.

As I've mentioned before, I have a rule against walking across the finish line. I always reserve enough energy at the very end to run across, even if I'm all out of steam. But at the end of this race, I completely misjudged the distance to the finish line and started running again much too soon. As a result of this misjudgment, I had just set myself up to finish the race in the most unattractive condition possible. Not only had I removed my shorts from my throat an entire 50 yards too soon, but I also had left way too much time at the end for my lungs to handle. It had been a cold, windy run so they had had it. But since I couldn't break my finish line rule, I had to deal with it and keep going and hope that I didn't vomit, pass out or look too pathetic when I crossed the finish line. By the time I reached the end, my shorts were back up so far that I could feel the cold wind in places that shouldn't have been able to feel the wind. My ears were ringing, partly from the wind and partly from the Soilwork song blaring from my earbuds. My lungs were on fire, my left calf was in pain and I'm pretty sure I had an ugly grimace on my face from the extra effort. I crossed the finish line in 35:26, beating last year's goal and making this my 2nd fastest 5k.

Lucky for me (and probably for his eyes), Hottie hadn't made it to the finish line due to the parking issue. He didn't have to witness the wheezing or the I'm-going-to-puke face or watch me walk around disoriented, looking for water. I finally found water but was too shaky and tired to open the bottle, so I asked two guys standing near me to open it for me. They looked at me like I was an alien for a few seconds until one of them asked me if I was ok. I said yes, that I was just tired and couldn't open my water. They continued to stare at me skeptically (come on guys, did you actually think I was pretending to look like I was on the verge of having a stroke just so I could hit on you and use my water as a pick-up line? Just open my fricken water already!) until finally one of them opened my bottle and handed it back to me. Semi-hydrated and now able to breathe, I called Hottie and met him for post-race beers. Unfortunately, beer was my only celebratory food/drink so I was crazy dehydrated the next day. I didn't eat my normal pig-out post-race meal or even drink much water for that matter. Just some Blue Moon while watching Comedy Central with a good lookin' dude who had unknowingly avoided seeing me at my ugliest a few hours earlier.

Guide to Happy Dating

Isaac: "Mommy, I was really mad at Kaley today." 
Me: "Why?  What did she do?"
Isaac: "I said hi to her and she told me not to talk to her because I was a boy.  That's mean.  So I don't want any girls at my birthday party this year."

It's starting already.  1st grade.  I didn't have the heart to tell him that this was only the beginning of the two decades of rejection he is likely to experience at the hands of women.  But while I felt sad for his sensitive heart that is sure to be broken several times throughout his life, I couldn't help but to feel grateful that I have a son instead of a daughter.  Maybe I'm just biased (since I'm a girl and all), but I think the dating world is way more brutal for women than it is for men.  Maybe it's because we think with our hearts. Or because we are hard-wired to over-analyze everything that is said or done, especially where relationships are concerned.  Either way, dating sucks for women.

Because it sucks so much, I took an almost 2-year hiatus to just be alone.  2 years of not worrying about whether someone is into me or just looking for a good time or a time-filler for a weekend night.  2 years of not stressing over what to wear on a date or shaving my legs every Saturday night or paying a babysitter $25 to go on a mediocre date with someone who probably wouldn't call me the next day anyway.  2 years of anti-sappy-romance and closing up my heart and mind to the charming ways of the opposite sex.  It was 2 years of single bliss.  Then....late last year, my sister assisted in shattering that image of a happy, solitary, man-less life.  I'm almost ashamed to admit how she did this, but long story short, she made me watch Twilight.  I had avoided those stupid vampire movies for 4 years and never had any intention of wasting my time watching the horrible acting skills and ridiculous story line.  But with much prodding, over the course of 2 days, I watched all 5 movies in the series.  As much as I still feel that the concept is pretty fricken stupid, I couldn't deny that it was a beautiful love story.  I could also no longer deny that I was lonely and missed feeling excited about someone.  So I recently decided to re-enter the cruel dating world with the hopes that my experiences of the past would help me to sniff out the bad ones before they once again turned me into a bitter old cat lady.

As naive and forgiving as I tend to be at times, I'd like to think that I'm pretty good at identifying red flags in someone and assigning them to a dating category. In the past 4 years that I've been in TX, I've gone out with 11 different men (some being just one date and others having turned into a dating relationship), and I've been (un)lucky enough to have experienced many different "types".  So allow me to educate you on these categories and red flags.

1. The Hoover: This isn't as inappropriate as it sounds and he is quite common.  The Hoover is someone who doesn't like you enough to actively pursue you but will suck you back in the second that he senses that you're catching on to this and start backing off.  I've dated several Hoovers.  And given my natural instinct to assume the best in someone, the Hoover Maneuver often works.

2. The Game Player: This guy is an expert player in "the dating game".  The one who follows the dating rules and often makes up his own.  Like the 72-hour rule - don't call her for 72 hours after a date. What?!  So many people fall for this and it's straight up BS.  If you like her, call her.  If you don't, say so. One thing that I learned from watching He's Just Not That Into You is that if he's not calling you, he doesn't like you.  And if he's not calling because he's playing "the game", you don't want to date that kind of guy anyway. We're in our 30's, not 18.  You have a mere 10-15 years before you're that creepy old guy sitting at the bar trying to buy shots for younger women.  Time is of the essence at this point, so fricken call her. 

Moving on...

3. Stage 5 Clinger: Anyone who has seen Wedding Crashers knows what this is.  For those of you who haven't, a Stage 5 Clinger is someone (usually a woman, but definitely can be a guy, trust me on this) who is extremely needy and clingy.  They suffocate you with their insecure neediness.  My sister likes to remind me that I was once this person in my early 20's (I disagree...maybe Stage 2 but definitely not Stage 5, just sayin'.)  And until recently, I was guilty of assuming this was a "woman issue".  I figured it was just a term men had for women who wanted to spend time together more than they did.  I never really thought that I'd ever think of a guy as being a Clinger.  I like when the person I am dating pays attention to me and texts me.  However, I was set straight on this in January when I met the ultimate Stage 5 Clinger.  Nice guy, super cute, very sweet, very funny and had MANNERS. A true gentleman.  4 days later, flippin' nuts.  "Why aren't you texting me back (within 10 minutes)?  Why don't you care about me?  I love you!"  Yikes!  It took several days of being blatantly honest with him and finally ignoring him for him to go away.  The sad thing is that I totally would've fallen for that behavior several years ago.  I would've assumed he was just very attentive.  But having been single for the past 2 years, it was an instant red flag and I no longer wanted or needed someone who was attached to me like a hemorrhoid. 

4. The Pig: This guy is quite common, too.  I've referred to several of my dates (and my friends' dates) as pigs.  If someone gropes you on the first date, he's a pig.  If someone says something like, "I bet you're good in the sack", he's a pig.  If someone obviously stares at your boobs the whole night on your first date, he's a pig.  Now, I am an open-minded person and will acknowledge that men are drawn to boobs, especially nice boobs.  But a non-pig is subtle about it if he steals a peek and is able to keep the glances to a minimum.  Liking boobs doesn't make you a pig.  Drooling over them on the first date does.  My first date after the hiatus was "The Pig".  It was a set-up by a mutual friend who couldn't have known he was a pig since they had never dated.  We had a lot in common and both had a crude sense of humor, therefore it should've been a match made in heaven, right?  Not so much.  To start, he was 17 years my senior.  Our friend had thought he was in his early 40's, not late 40's.  But age difference aside, the main thing that made him undateable was the fact that he did all 3 things mentioned above on the first date.  Seriously...  Someone who falls into The Pig category needs to learn that if he plays his cards right, he'll eventually get to see boobs, but he damn well better treat me like a lady first. 

5. The Denial Dater: This guy is the ultimate time-waster.  It's one thing to waste time on a date or 2 and then realize he's not a good catch or that you're not a good match, but The Denial Dater drags it out for months.  He's just attentive enough to keep you interested and squash any worries about him being The Game Player or The Hoover, but he's not in it for the long haul and knows it all along.  The reason for his moniker is what he does at the end of the 3 or so month relationship.  He denies that the relationship ever existed.  He usually says something like, "We weren't dating.  We were hanging out."  Or "I never told you we were exclusive."  I've dated two of these and I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or punch them in the throat.  I don't typically pay a babysitter hundreds of dollars over several months to "hang out" unless it's an agreed-upon Friend Zone situation.  I'm good friends with a few of my past dates and that's cool.  But don't wine and dine and kiss me for 90 days and then pretend we're just buds. 

6. The Mirage: This guy is a chameleon.  He can pretend to be whatever he thinks you want him to be and he pulls it off like a champ.  Sometimes for several months.  He's probably the most disappointing type of date because he makes you believe that you've found your perfect match, but it's all based on a lie.  Then when you realize they are The Mirage, it's hard to leave because you've already developed feelings for this joker.  Some Mirages fake a certain personality while others fake interests and hobbies.  I've dated both, as have my friends.  My good friend's serious (now-ex)boyfriend pretended to value his faith but wasn't sure he even believed in God, pretended to be divorced while still living with his wife and pretended to be social like she very much is, but never spoke more than a few words to her friends.  My first Mirage was in 2009 when I dated "Steve" (ok, that's actually his real name...).  This guy was a fake sports fan, particularly hockey.  Not sure how long he thought he was going to keep up that charade, but it didn't last long.  It all came to a screeching halt when he didn't care about the Stanley Cup playoffs and didn't want to watch it (the Wings were in the finals that year).  Then he admitted to not caring about sports but wanting to have something in common with me.  Don't screw with my emotions when it comes to my love of sports.  A good test would've been to ask him what a "hat trick" is.  *Hint: it doesn't have anything to do with the players' helmets.*  Now, I don't want to sound shallow and give you the impression that I ended things because he didn't like sports.  However, I DID fall for him based on that "mutual" love of sports.  So finding out the truth kinda killed it for me.  My second Mirage was in 2010 when I became engaged to someone who pretended to be independent, secure and a non-smoker.  It took about 6 months for him to show me that none of that was true (well, I figured out the smoking part after 2 weeks).  If he had kept up his charade for another 6 months, I would've married one of the most insecure and jealous men I had ever met.  Major bullet dodged. 

So that was a summary of the most prevalent dates you may encounter as a single man/woman in the crazy dating world.  I'm sure these categories can apply to women as well, but they're obviously based on my experiences with the male species.  The first step to a happy and successful dating life (other than just miraculously not coming into contact with the d-bags) is to identify who NOT to date.  As you can see, I've already done the work for you.  Lucky me.  And you're welcome.  :-)

Run, Mommy, Run: Part IV

For Part I CLICK HERE.   Part II CLICK HERE.   Part III CLICK HERE.


October 27, 2012 - Trek-or-Treat 5k, Allen, TX

I had finally found my groove again for the September race and was feeling good and training consistently. I was excited for my last 3 races of the year and was confident that I could PR before the end of the year. I was especially excited about the upcoming October race because it was my 2nd Halloween race, which meant another reason to wear a tutu (not that I need a reason...I'd rock a tutu at Walmart if someone dared me to.) My race costume this year (chosen by a fb vote) was going to be Batgirl and I was super pumped to wear it.

But then a wrench was thrown into my training schedule...in the form of a 7 month old baby boy. On October 9, I temporarily became a mommy of two when Mason arrived. For the first time in 6 1/2 years, I was changing diapers and walking the halls all night with a very unhappy baby. And seeing as how I could barely manage to find the time or energy to put a bra on before walking out the door in the morning, sticking to a training schedule was pushed to the back of my mind. I was so scatterbrained and exhausted and disoriented those first several weeks that it became a joke between me and the nanny of my first patients of the day to figure out what Becca had forgotten to do before leaving home in the morning. Most days it was no makeup (not good for a pasty white girl like myself) or forgetting my coffee (dangerous). On days where I looked semi-put-together, she'd happily say, "You look refreshed today!", before I would inform her that I hadn't put deodorant on. Or brushed my teeth. By the time my days were over, running was the furthest from my mind and evenings were instead spent trying to soothe an angry baby who seemed to despise me because I wasn't his mommy. Most nights I went to bed with peas in my hair and slept in 20-30 minute spurts between screaming fits that lasted all night.

So, needless to say, I wasn't prepared for my October race. So what do I do when I'm not prepared for a race? Make up an excuse why walking it is a much better option. This time I used Mason and Isaac as my excuses. I can't run a 10:00 mile with a 21-pound baby in a stroller. Ok let's face it, I can't run a 10:00 mile anytime, but he made it particularly difficult. So I decided that we would ALL run in costume and I'd invite my friend Priscilla to run it with us. She had done a few with me in the past and had just recently come back to town. So what better way to spend some QT together and catch up? Our goal was to have no goal. Just take our time and walk. We'd get there when we got there. And that's exactly what we did. For 51 long minutes. 51:34 to be exact. My slowest 5k ever, but still one of the best.

It was the first painfully cold day of the season (35*), so I decided to wear black running pants under my tutu instead of the short shorts from last year's tutu outfit. Isaac was a ninja (with a face mask to block the cold air), Mason was an elephant and Priscilla just went as her beautiful self. Occasionally, we would run for 30 second spurts but the rest of the time we just walked, talked and took turns pushing Mason's stroller. He slept the entire time so I felt like I was getting a much needed break, even if it was while walking 3.1 miles in the freezing cold. Our slow stroll was holding Isaac back so I finally let him run ahead of us for a while. We lost track of him and when I asked a race volunteer if he had seen him, he said, "Oh, the ninja? He zoomed past here a long time ago." Isaac loves to run as it is, but he's very much like his mama in the sense that wearing a cool outfit gives him a ton more energy during a race.

We finally caught sight of him and called him back so that we could run across the finish line together as we've done at every other race. Priscilla ran ahead so she could take a picture of us crossing the finish line as a family. Celebratory meal: IHOP pancakes.

November 30, 2012 - Santa Scurry, Keller, TX

I had very few options for my November race because I was going to be in Michigan for 9 days over Thanksgiving. There was one local race the weekend before my trip but it gave me all of 9 days to train for it. So I ended up deciding to cut it very close by choosing a race at 8pm on the very last day of the month and just crossed my fingers that I didn't get sick, injured or have my car break down on the way to the race. I was so close to the end of my resolution year that I didn't want to screw it up now.

I managed to make it to the gym a few times during the week before my vacation so I was able to get a few runs in. Then, while on vacation, I decided to run at the beach, something I had always wanted to do. It was fricken cold! Not only was it Michigan winter but it's very windy at the beach. I bundled up and hoped for the best. I don't know if it was the energy I got from running at one of my favorite places or just wanting to get it over with so I could feel my numb legs and butt again, but I did very well. I broke some records in terms of speed and distance and felt awesome afterwards. If I could've felt my face, I would've been smiling from ear to ear.

When I got back from vacation, I did one last run at the gym and set my race goal at 38:00. Not my best time but definitely far from my worst. The race was in Keller, about 45 min away, so I left the boys with my friend and another friend drove me to my race to cheer me on. The Santa shirts they gave the runners were pretty sweet, but I was a little jealous of the reindeer antlers and Christmas lights some of the other runners were wearing.

This was my 2nd nighttime race and I was so excited. I don't know what it is about night races but they give me an adrenaline rush. My fastest race to date (36:08) had been a night race. Maybe it's the lights or the cooler weather, but I love every moment of it. I had also just revamped my 5k playlist on my iPod and was ready to test it out to see if it kept me motivated. Music is a key player in my runs. If I don't have any music, it's torture. If I have bad race music choices, I get tired and lazy. People say you can tell a lot about a person by their playlist, but I'm not sure what my new playlist says about me. I have everything from Drunk on You by Luke Bryan to Face the Pain by Stemm to Courageous by Casting Crowns to Scream by Usher. So I guess that makes me a little bit country, little bit hardcore, God-lovin' with a side of dirrrtay girl. (Personally, I think this makes me a great catch.)

I had a ton of energy throughout 80% of this race. I did more running than walking and when I would run, I was moving at around a 9:00 mile pace. The only downfall was that it was in an area with a poor GPS signal. I am obsessed with my Runtastic app during races because I'm able to keep track of my time and my distance. When I'm running out of steam at the end of a race, I NEED to be able to look at the app and see that I'm only a half-mile from the finish line. But as a result of the poor signal, it wasn't accurately tracking my distance or pace. For example, when I passed the 2-mile marker, the app told me I had only gone 0.9 miles and my pace was like a 17-min mile or something. So I had to take a few deep breaths and get out of my head if I wanted to finish this race. I had always been told that finishing a race was 90% mental and 10% physical (or something like that). I had always thought that was crap because I was positive my badonkadonk butt had contributed to a good 70% of my running struggles. But when my GPS wasn't working during this race and I had a brief panic attack, I realized that it really IS mental. So I turned off the app, switched my iPod to Courageous and focused on the finish line.

As I rounded the final turn and saw the finish line clock, I really couldn't believe what I was seeing. Not only was I going to beat the goal I had set for myself for this race, but I was also about to PR for the first time in 8 months.  I crossed the finish line in 35:01, 1:07 faster than my previous fastest race.  My friend was trying to talk to me and congratulate me but I just sat on the ground and held up my hand to say, "Give me a minute."  I had to catch my breath, but I was also a little emotional and didn't trust myself to talk without busting into an ugly cry.  Since it was so late by the time the race got done and we drove back home from Keller, my celebratory "meal" was McDonald's hot chocolate, but I was perfectly happy with that.  :)

December 29, 2012 - Just For The Heck of It 5k, Arlington, TX

 

       <-------Mommy

          (Race #15)

         Isaac--------->

            (Race #5)

I did it!!  :)  I made it to my final race of 2012 and successfully completed my New Year's resolution to run one 5k per month for the entire year.  This particular race wasn't my original plan for my final race of the year.  Several months ago, I decided that I was going to compete in my first obstacle course race, so I registered for the Run For Your Lives 5k in Austin, an obstacle course race where zombies chase you the entire time and try to steal your flags.  This was the plan all the way up to 20 hours before the race when I promptly changed my mind and didn't go.  I had done a TON of traveling over the past month.  I had driven to and from MI for Thanksgiving, I still wasn't sleeping well at night because Mason was always sick, and I had just gotten back from a 4-day cruise to Cozumel (8-hour drive to and from New Orleans).  I was just drained.  I had no energy left and no patience left to travel the 5 or so hours to Austin.  It was only Dec 15 so I just figured that I could choose another race between then and Dec. 31.  Little did I know that things would NOT go as planned and I would contract the Plague of 2012...

Around December 18, I started feeling really sick.  Mason had contracted RSV at daycare and it is highly contagious.  I waited about 5 days to go to the doctor, and by the time I went in, I had strep, bronchitis, laryngitis, pink eye, and impetigo (extremely painful bacterial infection that shows up as sores on your face).  I was a MESS.  I could barely function well enough to take care of 2 children let alone run a race, so I held out hope that I would get better by December 31.  Didn't happen.  This illness lasted for almost 4 weeks (I was off work from December 19 through January 8).  But I wasn't about to let 11 months of a successful resolution year go down the tubes because of it, so I chose one of the last races of the year (and cheapest - $10) and just went for it.  Mason was with his parents that weekend so it was just Isaac and I.  We stayed in a hotel near the race the night before since it was in Arlington (45+ minutes away).  Not only did I need that extra sleep, but Isaac and I desperately needed some fun QT together.  We ordered pizza and watched cartoons before going to sleep early. 

Note the lopsided, funky smile thanks to impetigo and pink eye.

The next morning was FRIGID.  Painfully frigid:  28*.  We both bundled up as well as we could and I covered my face and head with a few layers.  I had NO voice so I had to whisper to the race officials when we picked up our bibs.  They looked at me like I was a crazy person when I told them that I was about to complete a race in freezing temps with strep and bronchitis.  But it had to be done.  Nothing was going to stop me at this point.  Stubborn?  Maybe a little.  Obviously my only goal was to simply finish this race, preferably not last.  I've never been last in any of my races.  Second-to-last, yes.  Last, no way, and I wasn't about to let it happen this time.  This was a very small race - only about 70 people - so you were either fast or walking.  I wanted to stay somewhere in the middle.  We ran at a pretty good pace for the first 1/3 mile and put some distance between us and about 8 people who were walking.  I quickly realized that I wasn't going to be running much.  My lungs were heavy and I was wheezing.  My mouth was covered so I could keep from breathing in frozen air, but it was almost just as bad to breathe in the humid air inside my neck gaiter.  Isaac did a run-walk combo and I walked (unless I was passing a race photographer, at which point I would run at full speed so my race picture would look less pathetic).

My little runner.  :)

It felt like the longest race ever and even Isaac (who had managed to stay healthy throughout all of the illness in our house) just wanted to be done.  I tried to make it fun for him so we could just get through it without tears or arguing.  I had no energy or voice for arguing and honestly, nothing is more frustrating than trying to yell at or argue with someone who can't understand you anyway.  During the last mile, I turned on my iPod and we'd take turns running ahead of the other one and dancing like a weirdo to Justin Bieber (oh, what a mother will do to make her child happy) while the other person caught up.  Luckily, we had no witnesses because the runners had long since crossed the finish line and the walkers were a good 30 yards behind us on the trail.  I finally crossed the finish line at 47:20 (Isaac was 47:13).  I had never been so happy to finish a race, partly because I was frozen and incredibly ill, but mostly because I had completed a huge goal for myself and hadn't given up. 

I never stay for the awards ceremonies because, let's face it, I'm not exactly Kara Goucher.  But this day, I just needed to sit and rest and rehydrate, so we stuck around.  When they had gotten through about half of the awards, we started walking towards our car when I suddenly heard my name.  I thought maybe I had left my license on the bib table so I turned around to see the girl holding a medal out to me.  I said, "Ummm, huh?  What's this for?"  She said it was an age-group award.  I said, "For Rebecca Macy?!"  She looked at her clip board and nodded and said, "Do you want it?"  Heck yeah I wanted it!  I had just completed the most miserable 5k of my entire life and I won a medal?!  Clearly there was a mistake but I took it and got my picture taken.

After I got in my car, I turned the medal over and saw that I had won 3rd place in my age group.  My sister was just as confused as I was.  "There must've been some slow ass 30 year olds running this race."  And later, "Were there 3 people in your age group??"  Turns out that there WERE in fact 3 people in my age group...and I won 3rd place.  HAHA!!  But hey, it was a medal and it'll be a good story to tell someday.  "I won 3rd place in my age group....with STREP!"   I'll of course leave out the part about coming in 3rd in a group of 3. 

So that is the end of my 2012 journey to becoming A Runner.  There were a lot of tough times but also a lot of fun times.  It started out as a resolution based solely on a fitness goal, but it turned into a journey focused on determination, mental strength and learning about myself and what I am capable of.  I'm very proud of my accomplishments and I loved sharing many races with family, friends and most importantly, Isaac.  He is my #1 fan.  :)  Thanks to all of my friends who read my blog and have followed my running adventures over the past 15 races.  While I don't have the same resolution this year, I do have a major goal set for 2013.  My very first 10k is scheduled for May 4, 2013!  The thought of running DOUBLE the distance that I am used to is terrifying, but I know I can do it with a little bit of determination, a lot of training and the suppport of my family and friends.  :)