Single AF

 As you can see by the date of my last post, I'm pretty terrible at being consistent with this blog like I was several years ago. 

Last time I posted, I was less than a year into what ended up being a 2 year relationship. Great guy, but in the end, we wanted different things.

So here I am 2.5 years after that post and almost 1.5 years after the end of that relationship, happily single but occasionally wondering if I should make an effort to open myself up to another attempt at dating.

Since the end of that one, I've had a variety of first dates. Only one went beyond a first date.

I watched a romantic comedy the other night where a guy sued a dating app for not finding him love after 1,000 dates. He had a "Friends"-type name for every date (The One With All The Cats, The One Who Brought Her Parents, etc), and I thought I'd give you a rundown of some of my dates, maybe make you laugh at my expense, maybe make you appreciate your significant others little more. Because it's a shitshow, folks.

1. The One Who Took My Chick-fil-A Points (aka The Bro, aka Dumbface) - This is the only one in the last year and a half to go beyond a first date. He wasn't bright, he was loud, he acted like a frat boy, and he would ask me to pay for our food at Chick-fil-A, but USE HIS APP TO GET THE POINTS. Lasted 6 weeks. Never referred to him as my boyfriend. I couldn't see myself with him long term. Intelligence is important to me. So is food.  No nugs, no hugs.

2. The One With Daddy Issues - I liked this one. Super fun to chat with before we met. Good conversation before we met, lots of laughs. At dinner, he told me all about how his dad was a famous dude who left his mom and had other kids but didn't want him. Lots of personal details for a first date.  Talked the whole time, barely got a word in.  Then he walked me to my car, said "Thanks for coming out", and never called again. Thanks for the autobiography, I guess? 

3. The One With One Foot Out The Door - Good convo with this one beforehand, too. Super funny guy, chatty, seemed fun. He arrived at the restaurant and I could see it on his face that he wasn't happy, like when your food arrives at the table and they forgot to leave the onions off. He looked as though he was expecting Angelina Jolie and got Shrek. And my pics are recent and look like me, soooo... not sure where his disappointed look came from. But he didn't make eye contact, barely spoke, then never called again. Wasted my skinny jeans and good hair on that one. But I got free Texas Roadhouse rolls and a Dallas Blonde, so there's that.

4. The Delayed Ghoster - I had a great first date with this one. It lasted like 5 hours. He wanted to keep hanging out, so we did. Walked around, grabbed drinks and food at 3 different places, talked for hours. Heard from him the next day (that was a relief and a new feeling), and made plans for a 2nd date. Day before 2nd date, nothing. Ghosted. Just disappeared. Changed his mind and bolted.  My guess is he met someone else that he clicked with better. I've been there. Still unexpected. 

5. The One Who Had Diarrhea of the Mouth - This guy had no filter and it was bad. He admitted that he had zero experience with women and it showed. He said some really dirty things to me before we met. I told him I didn't want to go out with him anymore. He sincerely apologized, so I gave it another shot. Had a great date and I was glad I had gone after all. Then 2 days later, he took his grumpiness out on me by snapping at me and being rude and sarcastic with me while trying to plan our 2nd date. Buddy, it's too soon to show your ass. Show your crazy a few months in like the rest of us.

That was the last one in early July, although it feels like it was 6 months ago because 2020 is never-ending. Dating apps have been paused since. Been interested in someone since, but just seems too complicated. And I don't have the energy or brain power for complicated right now.

If this post has made you feel better about your love life, my work is complete.  If you need an extra push, here's a post from 2013.  Hopefully I'm not writing another in 7 years.  Time will tell!